The Inverted Narcissist
Uploaded by palma on Oct 09, 2000
The Clinical Picture and Developmental Roots - Opening Remarks Terminology
Co-dependents People who depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of ego or daily functions. They are needy, demanding, submissive. They fear abandonment, cling and display immature behaviors in their effort to maintain the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. No matter what abuse is inflicted upon them - they remain in the relationship.
See also the definition of the "Dependent Personality Disorder" in the DSM IV.
Inverted Narcissist Previously called "covert narcissist", this is a co-dependent who depends exclusively on narcissists.
If you live with a narcissist, have a relationship with them, are married to them, work with them, etc. - it does NOT mean that you are an inverted narcissist.
To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist - you must WANT to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him / her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists - and ONLY with narcissists - no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of person. Only THEN - AND if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder - can you be safely diagnosed as an "Inverted Narcissist".
Introduction
The DSM IV defines the NPD using a few criteria. It is sufficient to possess 5 of them to "qualify". Thus, theoretically, it is possible to be NPD WITHOUT grandiosity. Many researchers (to mention a few: Alexander Lowen, Jeffrey Satinover, Theodore Millon) suggested a "taxonomy" of pathological narcissism. They divided narcissists to sub-groups (very much as I did with my somatic versus cerebral narcissist dichotomy - SV). Lowen, for instance, talks about the "phallic" narcissist versus others. Satinover makes a very important distinction between narcissists who were raised by abusive parents - and those who were raised by doting mothers or domineering mothers. See an expansion of the Satinover classification in:
http://narcissism.cjb.net/faq64.htmlIn "Psychodynamic Psychiatry in Clinical Practice/ The DSM-IV Edition's comments on Cluster B Personality Disorders - Narcissistic" we find this:
"...what definitive criteria can be used to differentiate healthy from pathological narcissism? The time honored criteria of psychological health - to love and to work - are only partly useful in answering this question."
"An individual's work history may provide little help in making...