Of men and women
Uploaded by annerik on Nov 29, 2002
It is a simple truth that men and women are different but women are also convoluted.
When guys lose weight, they like hearing about it. When girls lose weight things get complicated. You can tell them they look incredible but you should never tell them why. If you tell them they look like they lost a few pounds you’re in big trouble because, of course, what you are implying is that they looked fat and ugly before. Women don’t make things any easier by asking questions like: “Do you think I’m fat?” I never understood why they did that, knowing there are no right or wrong answers. The only answer is a big ugly fight. If the guy says: “No, honey, you look fabulous the way you are”, she immediately assumes that what you really meant was that she does look a bit fat. On the other hand, if the guy says: “Yes, I think you have put on a few pounds lately”, they’re still screwed. You should never tell a woman she looks fat, even if she does look like Miss Piggy and has great difficulties seeing her chunky toes past her neatly stacked rolls. Most likely she knows it, she just doesn’t want you to know it.
Women tend to make things even more complicated when they go shopping.
Men are smart. They go to a store for a pair of pants, pick up what they need, in their size, pay for it, and then leave – with a pair of pants. Women’s idea of shopping isn’t that simple. They go to a store for a shirt but end up picking up seven different outfits in four different sizes, hoping they lost a few inches walking from their car to the store, and then disappear to the fitting rooms. They come out half an hour later, leave their seven outfits behind, and go for a hunt for seven more. They do that until they are convinced that they are still size six, just like they were before going to the store, and then decide not to buy any clothes because they look too fat. They leave the store with a pair of shoes and a matching purse.
And then there’s driving. Men drive like maniacs, there’s no doubt about it. They are drawn to show off, speed, cut off in front of people, piss off other drivers, but at least...