The Depression
Uploaded by juicytoosh on Nov 06, 2002
I hate it. These years. They shouldn't be called the teens or adolescence, they should be called 'the depression'. Thats what they are - one long, eternal stretch of mental torture and emotional downpour.Crying for no pobvious reason and feeling heartbroken over nothing apparent.
It feels like all of my feelings are in a washing machine. Spinning around and round, going up and down, getting drenched and mushed, muddling up with everyone else's and when you detangle them they are never the same as they were.
Just like when you put your favourite top in for its first wash. When the turnmoil is over you spend ages unravelling it from around you brother's jeans only to discoverit doesn't feel right anymore.
Whenever the sun shines, you have no spots, your hair sits and you are generally feeling 'good', there will ALWAYS be something or someone who will drag your head down from the clouds into the grey, dull world known as the 'teenage years' and make you feel like the lowest form of being being stomped into the ground.
It feels like it has been going on forever already - years upon years of it. In fact its extremely hard to remember being happy, truly happy. I honestly can't think of any times right now where i have been deeply content or (dare i say it) happy.
It feels like something always has and will go wrong.
I'm 14.
This is my second year in the 'teens'. I have five more to go.Right now i can't see beyond this blackhole, this thunderstorm.Now that is wrong and sad - very sad.
If someone was to ask me how my life and future seems right now, I would reply 'misty'. It is not so bleak that i see nothing at all ahead of me. If i look far enough into the distance there is a glimmer of hope - a rainbow after the storm, a bright day beyond the fog and mist and exams and pressure that consumes me now.My horizons are a long way off, i just have to find my way to them over all the obstacles and through the thick consuming mist.
I don't want to write anymore today.I hurt. My head, my heart and most of all my stomach.Inside my stomach and, no, its not hunger, having ate too much or period pains (although they are teeth grindingly bad enough).Its a hollow pain pulling me down. It...