The Cell - Spoof
Uploaded by Juggalo69 on Oct 13, 2001
Batherine Mean enters the realm of the human mind through an advanced neurological study. She is able to go inside the minds of passed-out people and talk to them while they are unconscious. What purpose this may serve is still unknown, but it sure sounds cool doesn’t it?
We now go to FBI headquarters to hear about their next case…
“Chief, a new case just came in,” Calls Meter Nocrack.
“Continue.” Acknowledges Chief Wigwam.
“Well Sir, in Hicksville Heights they found three dolls horribly treated, their clothes were switched with those of the opposite gender dolls and…” Meter is cut off.
“There is nothing wrong with wearing the clothes of an opposite sex!” states Chief Wigwam.
“I remember that little phase your father had before with the clothes thing and that’s none of my business, but can we get back to the case?”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Clears up Chief Wigwam. “That’s behind our family now. So just back off!”
“Anyway, their bottles were filled with hair-spray and set ablaze. The person who did this even let dogs chew on them!” Rambled on Meter.
Chief Wigwam sits up from his chair and chuckles to himself
“Mr. Nocrack, we only solve human-related crimes at the FBI.”
“ But look how cute they used to be! I even have some of these dolls at home!” Meter says as he shuffles through his briefcase.
Chief Wigwam, now puzzled, tries to understand Meter. “You what? Never mind, get…” Meter, who shoves pictures into Chief Wigwam’s unprepared hands, cuts him off.
“What are these?” questions Chief Wigwam.
“Pictures of my doll collection and what was done to the victims we found.”
“That’s terrible! Something must be done to protect these useless lumps of plastic!” Pronounces Chief Wigwam.
“Collect a team and investigate this crime. The person who did this should be taken to court and win his case then never go to jail or get punished because the justice in this country is pathetic!”
“You go girl!” shouts Meter in glee. Chief Wigwam becomes furious and yells,
“That was a long time ago and now that the operations are over I am Mr. Wigwam! Do you have a problem with that or I am going to have to slap you? Now get out of my office!”
Meter is already half way out the door.
“I’m on it Sir!” calls Meter as his voice is drowned out.
Snarl Stagnant snatches his next victim from the a little girl...