Written by: vdg
Reflection Statement The process by which the completed Major Work was formulated was a complex and, at times, frustrating one, yet the intriguing, rewarding and educative nature of my progress has resulted in finished product in which I am entirely satisfied. My initial idea was explore the way consumerism is causing children to present their sexuality as an image at younger and younger ages. But I could not get my concerns to manifest themselves without being clichéd. My current, more successful concept was based upon my own personal experiences. My grandmother suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, and I have often seen the distress and confusion unfamiliar surroundings and people can cause her. Up until now, I have taken her behaviour very much for granted, but as I have matured in my outlook I have been more affected by the raw emotions that flit across her face when she is fearful and bewildered because she cannot remember where she is or why she is there. She has the vulnerability of a little girl at moments like this, and my observations of this made me seek advice concerning the disease. I have conducted a great deal of research on Alzheimer’s, both through the Internet and library research. I have also spoken to friends and relatives of victims of the disease, and of course, I have continued to observe my grandmother. Many of the things that she says and does have found their way into my story, as have many of her friends and relatives responses to her illness and behaviour. I realized that the conversations and observations of my grandmother are limited due to her inability to provide foresight, I consulted my grandmother’s doctor for more expert advise, and my grandfather for a more personal insight into living with the disease. While I learned a great deal about the disease, I also found that there are still a lot of unknown factors, such as what the victim sees and hears during moments of dementia. One of the things I wonder about is whether or not elements of the Alzheimer victims’ lives, that they have suppressed, return to torment them when their ability to suppress unpleasant memories lessens, or is lost completely. Their inability to communicate coherently by the time this would occur prevents researchers from establishing the truth of this. The other thing is that Alzheimer’s victims don’t just forget where they’ve put the front door key; they don’t remember for what the front door key is used. This would mean,that suppressed memories, when they surface due to the lack of control the Alzheimer’s victims have, may not even be understood by the victims. I chose to portray an elderly man suffering from the debilitating disease, and all the while my progress has been wrought with challenges, ranging from from lack of ideas to a tendency to resort to melodrama. Finally I decided to write three short stories, each one about the Alzheimer’s victim, but from a different perspective. The first story is from the perspective of the sufferer; the second from that of the sufferer’s grandson and the third from the sufferers dog’s perspective. The latter was included to convey to the responder what it is like to be dependent on an Alzheimer’s victim. As well as desiring to enlighten the responders about the disease, I wanted to be entertaining and confronting, so my protagonist, the old man, is more than the pitiable sufferer. He is a man whose entire married life has been a torture because his wife has been continually unfaithful to him. The tragic irony is that he loves her even as he hates her and this paradoxical situation becomes torturous to him. Although he nurse’s her in her illness because he loves her, he prolongs her pain and causes her death. Such memories taunt him and the disease prevents him from keeping them at bay. My study of revenge tragedy has definitely impacted on my work in that the old woman’s betrayals are avenged in a tragic way. The first story was completed quite quickly, once I had decided its direction, but the second story became a great hurdle for me. I wrote several dead end stories, the melodrama of which was quite painful to read. It was some time before I decided that the best way to approach the second story was do so according to the mentions of the grandson in the first story. But there were not enough, so I went back to the first story and added more, and these then became the blueprint for the second story. For unity and continuity between the first and second story, I made the second story pick up from where the first story left off, at a park bench. The final story from the dog’s perspective has the narrative voice reflecting the limited knowledge and perceptions of the dog. The dog is mentioned very casually in the preceding stories. Apart from thinking up a workable concept, I have also spent a lot of time reading short stories and investigating particular techniques used by authors. The first story is in third person omniscient narration to provide realism, for a first person account from the old man would be impaired by his dementia. The first person reflective nature of the second story suits the protagonist, for ultimately he must decide that he cannot cope with the reality of his grandfather’s life, and there is an underlying tone of guilt, and a painful loss of innocence when the boy realizes that his grandmother and grandfather are not the people he assumed them to be. The story from the dog’s perspective is in second person in an effort to make the universal aspect of the “you” used take the responder straight into the harrowing world of the dog. During my high school years my studies in English have taught me the value of language techniques in conveying a composer’s concerns. Throughout the composition I have made particular use of irony, contrast, symbolism, juxtaposition, sensual imagery and the pun. For instance, the use of the name “Grace” for the character who is the old man’s wife provided me with many opportunities to pun, and create irony too. My titles are symbolic. The overall title of the work is Love’s Labour, which captures one of the unifying motifs: people and animals labour for love, both of others and of themselves. The title of the first story is “Old Man In Love” which adds a universal appeal because the protagonist is unnamed and it is ironic, given the paradox he lives. The second story is called, “Love of Freedom”, because the boy’s motivations are less about the love of his grandparents than his desire to be free of parental constraints. He divests himself of responsibility in the end, preferring to be free. The third story is called, “Love of life”, which is terribly ironic because the dog really does have a ‘dog’s life’. Even his “rescue” is ironic, for he is saved just to be euphanised. During the entire process, I have welcomed the input of my teacher, of my fellow students and of selected readers of my work. These people have helped me by pointing out inconsistencies, lack of realism and overt melodrama. My overall purpose in composing this piece has been to inform people of the realities of the disease. To do this I have had to ensure that people will actually want to read my story. I feel sad when people assume that dementia is just something for old people, and that it is part of ageing. It is a distinct disease for which there is no cure and my experiences with my grandmother, who many deem a senile old lady, have taught me that the disease is a separate entity, affecting people indiscriminately. Not all people contract the disease at a very advanced age and it is not uncommon for people aged forty years and above to suffer from it. Therefore my intended audience is people over the age of fifteen who are ignorant of this disease, and who may make an effort to be kinder to the sufferers if they are informed. I have also tried to end the myth that old people are boring and useless. The strange marriage the old man and Grace have lived, and the way it ended show that there is a lot more to our aged citizens than is generally thought. The general melancholic mood that runs through the three stories should help my audience realize that it is not old age that is to be feared, so much as the accumulation of things in life that burden the aged. All in all, I am very happy with my finished work, and I feel I have succeeded with the impact I wish to make on my audience. I have received many positive reviews. Further, I am happy to say that I think my research and writing skills have improved immensely. I am also pleased that I have gained a greater understanding of a disease that has literally taken my grandmother away from her family, although she walks amongst us on a daily basis.