The words on the sign that hung outside the bar gleamed: “Black Jack’s Bar.” After I jumped off my five-speed mountain bicycle and took off my helmet, I confidently walked up to the radiant building. I performed a last minute check of my appearance in an outside mirror. I slicked back my hair and tucked my tie-dye shirt inside of my tight blue jeans. Looking so sexy, I was ready to accomplish my goal for the night: to be flirtatious, and secure a lady’s telephone number in hopes of getting a date.

My eyes surveyed the vicinity for irresistible women. At first, I did not see any desirable women; however, my eyes were soon affixed upon a beautiful blonde-hair woman with long legs. I decided to approach her.

I asked her, “Are you tired?”

She responded in a soft voice, “No. Why do you ask?”

I then answered nonchalantly, “Because you have been running through my mind all night.”

She erupted into laughter. I couldn’t understand why she had laughed at my pick-up line, which is a famous cliché used to get dates. I decided that this lady wasn’t for me. I was a little disappointed, but I didn’t quit. I put more oil in my hair and was ready to proceed. I returned to my seat at the bar. I needed a drink to make me feel better so I ordered a scotch and water. Better hold the scotch. As the bartender handed me my drink, a young-looking brunette entered the bar. She walked in and sat down next to me; I had never seen such beauty before. I did nothing at first out of fear; however, I remembered my objective for the night and prepared a speech.

I slid over to her and said, “Your feet must hurt.”

She retorted, “No, not really. Why?”

“Because you just fell from heaven, angel,” I replied.

The brunette departed immediately for some unknown reason. I was dumbfounded. On any other night, I would have had two women in my arms. I thought deeply about my previous behavior. I decided that I would be myself and act normal around the next woman I saw. I decided to use this philosophy instead of a tactic called loan sharking. This is the process of buying a woman a drink while demanding something in return. Many people put on masks when meeting people just like I had done. People hide their true personality and make themselves less attractive. This is a major problem in our society.

The slamming of the bar door interrupted my profound thoughts.

My tiger-like eyes zeroed in on this new goddess. A beautiful dark-haired woman had entered the bar. She was a little shorter than I. Her skin was very tan and she had an attractive body. I walked over to her and sat down.

I said, “Hello there. My name is Tom. How are you this evening?”

She responded, “Very well, thank you. My name is Danielle.”

I asked her amiably, “Would you like a drink?

She responded politely, “Yes, please. I will take a milk.

I then ordered the milk. This greeting initiated more conversation. I sweet-talked her a little, but I didn’t say anything to her that I didn’t mean. After a good thirty minutes of conversation had passed, I finally acquired her telephone number. I promised to call her the next day to discuss what to do for our first date.

Having been satisfied that I fulfilled my goal for the night, I decided to leave. I took one last look in an inside mirror. I slicked back my hair and untucked my tie-dye shirt outside about ten yards from me when I tripped over my shoelaces and fell hard onto the ground. I felt an enormous pain in my arm. Somebody came out after hearing my cry of pain. They saw what had happened and proceeded to call an ambulance. By the time the ambulance had arrived, I already passed out from the excruciating pain. When I awoke, I found that I had broken my arm in four places. That wasn’t what irritated me: it was the fact I had lost the telephone number I had worked so long to obtain.

I said to myself, “Wow! This is a forgettable trip.”